Buggery Bollocks

Buggery Bollocks

Just a short entry today, but I need to get my thoughts on today’s election results off my chest before they whirl around in my head and make it explode!

Finally, after living in an uncertain limbo land since June 2016 it would appear that we now know where we stand.

Despite my heart telling me that as the referendum was based on lies and uncertainty, if there was ever to be a chance to put that to the test, the majority of people living in the UK would seize that opportunity, I now know I was wrong. There is a clear majority that want Brexit – apparently at any cost!

The country that I grew up in and lived entirely in for the first 21 years of my life is not the place I thought it was. The country that Martin served 14 years of his life to defend is not the place he thought it was either.

I’ve been fortunate to travel extensively throughout my life and have visited countries world-wide, Asia, Africa, Australasia, and Europe – both on holidays and as an independent traveller. I’ve met people from different cultures, fallen in love with people from different cultures, and embraced aspects of different cultures with both arms. I’ve also been lucky enough to work for a London based charity and given the opportunity to work and travel in the city as a result of that – and I honestly believed that London accurately reflected the positive feelings towards diversity that the rest of that little island felt in their hearts (by the little island I mean the UK – I can no longer call it ‘our’ island – I feel it is no longer ‘my’ island).  But it seems outside London there is little value on diversity.

I do not fear difference! I do not fear the person talking in a different accent! I do not fear a different colour of skin.

  • Differences are good – they are what teach us about the world, the whole world – not just your little bubble.
  • When a person tells you that they love you in a different accent it is sweet, and sexy, and exciting – and there is no more reason to fear someone asking you the time in a different accent than that.
  • Different skin colours are simply a result of different levels of melanin for sun protection – no more, no less.

Yet, it seems as if ever since that dreaded 2016 referendum, the lid is off the genie’s lamp, and immigration seems to be on the table for people to express fear and hatred towards.

And not just immigration! Homophobia! Now it seems to be OK to express negatively towards people who align to a different sexual orientation.

It’s like going back to the 1970s…..but, just like then – I have no problem with anyone from any sexual orientation, I have always have had friends who are gay, bi, pan or non-binary. I haven’t changed in my attitudes over time (or if I have, maybe it is to become even more keen to support the rights of the people who feel oppressed) but it seems that it is now acceptable to once again (just like the “bad old days”) openly say to a gay man – “Oh I had better not bend over”.

It’s all so wrong. The hate has been simmering under the surface for so many years.

And now those who:

feel that hate

no longer feel the need to supress that hate

and Brexit was the green light to express that hate.

I honestly believed that this General Election would wipe the Tories out, that Labour and the Lib Dems would form a coalition Government – and then go for a People’s Vote to decide on a deal or to revoke Article 50. But I don’t think that is necessary anymore – the people have spoken – they have given the Tories a massive majority, and Labour’s worst defeat since 1935 – and in my opinion it is no coincidence that this marks the era of the rising of the Far Right within Europe.

Jacob Rees Mogg

 

History now seems to be repeating itself – it seems we haven’t learned anything.

 

 

 

 

So, whether people have voted Conservative because they voted to Leave the EU and want Brexit done, or whether they voted to Remain but have just got so frustrated and want it all over, the fact is they have voted for Brexit to happen.

why fear a socialist government

 

What becomes of us all now?  For you in the UK – maybe the selling of the NHS to Trump, and even more reliance on food banks. The rich will get richer and the poor will get poorer. Why fear a more sharing Government….a socialist Government even?

 

 

 

 

But, those of us who are living in EU countries? Will we be able to stay? Or will our host country put in high income demands that we cannot meet? Or will the locals hate us so much for what the UK Government has said and done that our lives are made unhappy?

What about those people who live in the UK who are from an EU country? Will they be able to stay? Will they meet the points-based system requirement? Will they want to stay when people shout at them on the bus to “go home”. What if their home is the UK and has been for such a long time they would not even know where to go home to?

What about the couples where one is a UK citizen and one is an EU citizen? Where will they live? Do they have to divorce? What about their children? Where do they belong?

Did any of you who voted for Brexit think about these people? Did you care about these people when you decided you wanted your Fish and Chips in newspaper again? (which incidentally is not an EU rule it is a UK rule!!). Or when you decided you wanted it back how it was in the 1970’s?

 

It's going to be alright - my Auntie told me so

 

 

 

How about those of you who sit on the fence when it comes to your friends, family, workmates, and acquaintances when they express fear for the future? Do you think your words “I’m sure it will all be alright” helps them sleep at night? The Windrush scandal ought to tell us that this will not help at all as that wasn’t “alright” was it?

 

 

 

 

Now that it is clear that Brexit will take place it is likely that a lot of these people will be experiencing thoughts of despair, loss of hope, and maybe even suicide. Please check in with these people and make sure they are OK. Please don’t just tell them it will all be OK. Because it isn’t OK, hasn’t been OK for all of us to be living in limbo for so long, being used as pawn pieces, knowing that we are an inconvenience to the Brexit process that people would rather didn’t exist.

If you want to really help out your friends/family you could lobby your MP to ask them to ensure that the rights of both UK citizens in the EU and EU citizens in the UK are looked after in this process. Did you know that the British Embassy advises us to contact the MP in our last known constituency to help us, but most of these MPs don’t want to know? Mine didn’t!! He just shirked his responsibility and told us to “enjoy our new lives in France”. He doesn’t really have an obligation to serve non-constituents – but if you, as a UK resident were to email your local MP, they do have a duty. You could quite simply email your MP and say “I voted to leave but even so I have a friend/family member who lives in France and I am concerned about their future – what will you, as my MP be doing to protect their rights?”. It’s a simple thing that really could make a big difference.

Solidarity with EU citizens

 

Or you could pop something like this up on your Facebook page – let them know you are with them – part of the solution not part of the problem.

 

 

These are dark days for the United Kingdom and its relationship with the European Union – now is not the time to sit on the fence and say nothing.

I am so thankful that I have adult children who are not sitting on the fence. Somewhere along the line, whether through my influence or of their own doing, they are both prepared to stick their heads above the parapet and have their voices heard about voting, about their outrage, and about their expectations that the Tory Government will now be held to account and deliver their manifesto. I am grateful and very proud.

We have been so grateful to the few friends and family from the UK that have shown us constant support throughout this process, by acknowledging when our Facebook posts have revealed a fear or concern, and when we have wanted to talk about our worries.

Sadly, we also, like many others have lost “friends” who have turned against us because we dared to be different and move to France at a time of great uncertainty.

SilenceAnd, the in-betweeners – those who have said nothing, we have noticed your quiet absence, lack of support, unwillingness to engage in conversation, changing of subjects, ignoring our pleas for help. Yes, we have noticed and it does hurt. And like Mariella (in the poster , you are now just turning into people who didn’t stick up for us).

 

 

But, a person only needs so many friends, and we know who is batting for our corner, those who have been “with us” since the onset, and new friends here in France who, to be honest have become in so many ways our main source of support, as it them who share our concerns willingly – some of them are Brits “in it with us” and others are sympathetic French and Dutch people who realise what a tough time it is for us. We are so grateful for them.

But, back to the state of the UK. It is disappointing that the country of our birth no longer resembles what we once thought it was. But we will take the results “on the chin” with a “stiff upper lip”, and accept our fate.

But, I will campaign until the day I die for the right to be treated fairly as a person who has paid into the UK tax system since the age of 15, and Martin will simply not accept any nonsense that his pension he has worked bloody hard for all his life cannot be administered as the UK banks want to close our bank accounts down.

 

We will accept Brexit, fight for fairness, but we really want to say is

 

Buggery Bollocks to it all!!! (and shit – to make it sound gangster)

Bollocks to Brexit and shit

 

Overwhelmed

Overwhelmed

Suggested track to play whilst reading – Rachel Platten – Overwhelmed – click here to play

Lyrics are at the end of the blog

My birthday was on Thursday 28th November. We had known for sometime that this was the likely day for the house construction to start, which although was a delay on the original plans, I quite liked the concept of, as what more could a girl want for her birthday than the beginnings of a new house?

As it turns out, the house was not all I did get for my birthday – I got to order a brand new range cooker and a ‘réfrigérateur/congélateur multi-portes’ (like an American one but with four doors it is called French style) ready to come in the new year.

Range and Fridge

It was Black Friday on my birthday so we got a good price of course!! Every little saving counts at this stage of the game as, like most people doing a house build project, we have found that things have often cost much more than anticipated and some things that we have had to pay for we had no prior knowledge even of their existence!!

I also asked Martin for a Kenwood Food Mixer for my birthday present!! Now normally Martin would not dare to buy a woman a kitchen appliance as a gift for fear of having said gift thrown at his head – but I did expressly ask for this item. It’s one of those lovely ones that sits on a counter and waits for a cake mixture to be poured into it! I’ve never been much into baking as I prefer the imaginative, haphazard, throw all the things together than I can indulge in when making a curry for example, where as baking a cake requires following a recipe. I’m looking forward to trying out new skills when we finally get into our house though!

So, Day One of the TEK panel construction was Thursday 28th November and somewhat unbelievably yesterday afternoon on Tuesday 10th December – just 9 working days after the start – the final roof panel was put in place – and voila!! The very basic shell of our house is complete! I’ve put together a 2 minute video showing the process which to view you just click here

We think it’s amazing how quickly it has gone up.

Last night we climbed the very steep step ladder up on to the mezzanine floor to look at the night time view that I have only been able to dream about for the past 2 and a half years! When we first came back to this little piece of land in July 2017 and make that first decision to continue where my Dad left off, to build our own dreams on this plot of land – all I really knew was that I wanted some part of the building to be high. That concept has remained constant – but the plans have changed!

 

This was about house idea number 3
I just can’t imagine La Niche looking like this now – but it was what we wanted for a little while

First of all it was a flat single storey house with a ‘living roof terrace’, then a ‘Périgordien style tower’, and then we met our architect Rob who, after listening to me prattling on about how we only had the budget for one floor but in my dreams I really wanted a high-up reading loft, somehow stole what was in my head all along and came back a few weeks later with it all on paper!!

So last night – to stand up there – a good few feet away from the edge of the mezzanine balcony (bearing in mind there is no safety railing) and see for the first time, the village lights, the bare Winter branches, framed perfectly in the triangular shape of the roof apex – there are no words to describe it other than completely OVERWHELMED!! It is so beautiful!

KONICA MINOLTA DIGITAL CAMERA
This tree with it’s ‘propriété privée’ sign is always going to be very special to me

The oak tree which I so desperately want to preserve as it is one of the things here that really truly connects me to my Dad as every time I see it I remember how it is only really by remembering the photos that he showed us that confirmed we were in the right place when we came back – that oak tree is perfectly framed in the view from the mezzanine.

Like children we excitedly went from window to window looking at the views we will get, noticing how the Velux roof window will give us the perfect stargazing view especially when the lights are fully out.

For 20 months since moving out to France and living in a motor home for all this time the thing that has kept us going is this moment when we finally have our house built!! And I just found it totally overwhelming. I think it is because everything else has taken so, so long, and this part was so incredibly quick. Just 9 days to build a shell.

Of course, there is still a lot more to do. The tiles need to go on the roof, and the ‘bardage’ (cladding) needs to go on the outside of the walls.

We were hoping that the windows would also be in before Christmas. But unfortunately, the window guy came this morning and feels that we need to make some adjustments to the bottom of the openings to avoid water settling underneath the wooden frames. So, this will mean the ‘maçon’ returning to put some concrete in – then that will have to set before he can fit the windows.

That’s a huge disappointment – and when the news was first broken it did feel quite overwhelming – but we then sat back and reflected and concluded that it is only so disappointing because we had our hearts set on having the watertight shell by Christmas – and it will all, I am sure, come together very soon.

We need to wait until Friday for another meeting between the window guy, the maçon and Martin to determine what needs to be done and when it can be done – so it feels a bit flat at the moment – but nothing insurmountable.

If our journey so far has taught us nothing else it has certainly taught us that patience is indeed a virtue and it is needed in large doses on a very regular frequency in our new life in France.

The other aspect of life that I am finding quite overwhelming at the moment is the General Election looming and of course the hate filled echo chambers start to rise up again on social media. Fake news is everywhere – you read something and feel a sense of outrage, and then shortly afterwards you read something else that claims that was fake news. Best to not react to anything until it’s been fact checked.

Whopper on the side of a bus

We didn’t dare rely on the postal votes that we are entitled to (having lived in the UK within the past 15 years) as we have been told by numerous people who were over here during the 2016 referendum that the cards failed to turn up in the post – rendering them unable to vote. So, we sought out a Proxy voter in the area we last lived in who is prepared to cast our votes for our chosen party at our old polling station.

I’m so glad that we decided to do the Proxy voting as all but two of my birthday cards sent by family and friends in the UK went missing – arriving far later than they should have done, and in one case not at all! And now, it’s been revealed that many people are once again saying their Postal Voting Cards did not turn up either at all – or in time to cast their vote. The democracy in the UK at the present time is an absolute shambles!

So, tomorrow – someone will go to our old polling station and casts votes on our behalf. We hope that our votes will help to wipe the smile off the face of the smug Conservative MP who not that awfully long ago refused to help us when I begged him to raise the plight of UK citizens living in the EU within Parliament. To this day he has never so much as sympathised with our situation – all he done was to send a reply telling us to enjoy our new life in France!

letter from Steve Brine
Remainer turn coat Steve Brine…a significant proportion of his constituency was Remain, so was he, but the day after the Referendum he turned completely. A career politician!!

Well! We will enjoy our new life in France if we are able to after Brexit, and if it is his choice to only ever holiday in Cornwall over and over and over again…..well….I do feel quite sorry for the Brits who have never explored further afield and seen what the rest of Europe has to offer! A lack of travel does seem to make people somewhat narrow minded.

It’s stuff like this that makes me feel overwhelmed – that feeling of “stop the world I want to get off”, but last night it felt so good to feel overwhelmed simply from the feeling that we have finally turned the next page in our story.

We now have a shell…it ought to have been watertight by Christmas but probably won’t be.

But it has a roof, it has walls, and it has a heart! And now that it is assembled and upright, we can start to feel her personality (yes, she is feminine – I always knew she would be) and we can start to see how she will start to materialise.

Her name is ‘La Niche’ and we love her already! I will tell you how we came to name her in a future blog.

It’s overwhelming…but exciting, and a little bit scary. And we can’t wait!

Rachel Platten – Overwhelmed – click here to play

“We make patterns out of stars
And we whisper little prayers
To be somewhere that we’re not
And if we’re good it will take us there”

“But then the light comes through the dark
And our questions fall apart
It’s just the beating of our hearts and the still of the midnight air”

“And I get so overwhelmed till it’s hard to tell
What I’m thinking”

“We get down down down
We feel sorry for ourselves
We get down down down
We all need somebody’s help
Let’s get loud loud loud till there’s love and nothing else
‘Cause the more that you give the more that comes back around”

“So we hide away our hurts
And put bandaids on our fears
And we lie to all our friends
Move along there’s no problems here
But then the orchestra will start
And the violins appear
And a simple little melody has us fighting tears”

“And I get so overwhelmed till it’s hard to tell
What I’m thinking”

“We get down down down
We feel sorry for ourselves
We get down down down
We all need somebody’s help
Let’s get loud loud loud till there’s love and nothing else
Cuz the more that you give the more that comes back around”

“But the hardest part is the way things are
And how quickly fingers will bleed
And the grace we need is not in magazines,
It’s just space, in between, when we breathe”

“I am down down down I feel sorry for myself
And I get down down down and I need somebody’s help
Let’s get loud loud loud till there’s love and nothing else
Cuz the more that we give, the more that comes back”

“Down down down
We feel sorry for ourselves
We’re down down down
We all need somebody’s help
Let’s get loud loud loud till there’s love and nothing else
‘Cause the more that you give the more that comes back around”